Allow me to ask you to, for just a moment, imagine… the unimaginable.
Pretend new scientific breakthroughs in the areas of Time Travel or Fortune Telling have made it possible (No… have made it mandatory ) for the “powers that be” to tell you (within a 3-4 day margin of error) that your child will experience an event. This event will cause them to suffer some level of pain, discomfort, fear, helplessness and/or despair.
Perhaps he/she will fall off a bike, get hit by a car, suffer a severe allergic reaction, fall down a flight of stairs, get beaten up, whatever… It could be bad; but you can’t know the severity or the extent to which your child will be effected, you just know when to expect it.
Now imagine, the absolute worse part about this unimaginable scenario; there is absolutely NOTHING that you can to to stop it or alter it.
You’re fucked, right?
This is my nightmare, within a nightmare.
In just a few days, my child will most likely experience some level of pain and discomfort. She may feel sick to her stomach; maybe vomit uncontrollably; she could burn up with a fever or feel like she’s freezing; maybe she’ll just have flu like symptoms; or gag on the taste of her own bile. I have no way of knowing how bad this will be. I just know it is, most likely, going to happen soon.
I feel like the proverbial deer… standing in the middle of the road in the darkest part of night. I can clearly see the head lights coming straight at me, but I’m helpless to do anything, but wait and watch.
On the edge? Yes, I’m on the edge, of my very sanity.
Trying desperately not to trip or fall.