Now what?

A mother's love II

So Round 1 of Arielle’s 5 day chemo treatments ends today (Thank God!).

She was a Warrior! Although it sucked and she hated it (and she whinged a little bit), ultimately she looked it straight in the eye and she dealt with it.  I was really very proud of her.  Round 2 (of the 5 day treatments) will start again in two weeks with some one day treatments next week and the week after.  …but, a bit of a reprieve for her now.

She is anxious to get back to Dover and into a more normal routine with her boyfriend and her cat, Gatsby.  She wants to be in her own home, with Rich and her friends and with all of her familiar belongings,  which I hope will make her her feel safe and secure.  She and Richard will somehow begin to pick up the pieces of their lives,  that were torn apart just two short weeks ago. They have a tough road ahead of them, but they are young and strong, in love and have the thoughts, prayers and well wishes of many.

So I guess the question is….  what do I do now?

With this crisis over, at least for the moment, I’m not quite sure what to do with me.  I’ve forgotten what “normal” is and I don’t really know how to get back to it.

It’s a harsh reality that all of our children grow up and no longer need us. I get that and I’m usually quite fine with that fact.  However,  this experience has somehow transformed me back into that protective, strong, determined, focused “Mom” of yesterday and I seem to have lost the rest of my identity!  I don’t remember what  else I am, but a childless mother.

I’m pretty sure that in the upcoming weeks I’ll be able to support and relieve Rich of his duties and offer Arielle the love, support and comfort that only a Mother can give, but what do I do with all this “Super Mommy-ness” in the meantime?

Anybody need a babysitter?

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8 thoughts on “Now what?

  1. I’m so sorry for you, my husband Stu had similar treatment and it was bloomin awful and I felt helpless most if the time, but did keep myself helpful by thinking of things he needed- food he might fancy, useful clothes…your daughter might think she doesn’t need you, but she does, and if she doesn’t, her boyfriend will, you could help him to help her. Best wishes.

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    1. Thanks Debs, I appreciate your comment. I wish she lived closer so that I could be more useful, but in the end, this isn’t about me! It’s about her, so I’m sure I’ll get myself sorted and help out in every way I can. Thank you very much! Melissa

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  2. My Mel…Rest and recharge! And above all, stay in the present. You’ve done very well so far. Your personal prayer warriors are on duty. XOXO

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  3. Melissa, those of us dealing with our children’s cancer know exactly what you are feeling, hard to not be next to them every single moment. We spent a few days with April this week and took her to her chemo treatment on Thursday before heading home. Barry had a tough time leaving her there for two hours of infusion treatment, but that is what she does with or without us! Your daughter and our daughter know all they have to do is pick up the phone and we will be there, that gives them the strength to move forward knowing we are there to back them up! Lois

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    1. Wow! Yes you and Barry know EXACTLY what that’s like, don’t you? I wrote that post a year ago… but it seems like a lifetime ago. She still sees the oncologist once a month and has blood test every other week, but (I thank God) our ordeal (at least for now) seems to be over. I will keep all of you in my prayers and ask that the Universe continue to give you the love, strength and courage to deal with this each in your own way. hang in there! xxx

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