I believe most people want to hear “happy.” They prefer to hear upbeat, optimistic, “everything works out in the end,” stories; wrapped up in pretty words, tied neatly with a big bow of hope.
Not a lot of people (including me) have the patience or the inclination to listen to another person’s “hard” truth. We prefer not to hear the pangs of doubt or despair in someone’s story, because it’s… well, it’s fucking uncomfortable and it makes us squirm. It reminds us that we too are human and could, at any minute, fall prey to misfortune, doubt, illness, or even death. God knows, we humans do not like to be reminded of our fragility.
But why?
Why would we not want to be reminded that life is short and precious and incredibly fragile and that shit does happen! It happens all the time! Why not acknowledge (through another person’s “hard” truth) that we’re pretty fucking lucky not to be in their shoes! Why not be reminded that bad things happen (to good people) every minute of every day and sometimes everything does not turn out for the best.
I truly believe that’s when we can really get down to the business of fully living and appreciating our own lives and be awed by the wonderment!
Listen to the stories. Hear the sadness. Feel the pain. See the hurt. Don’t try to fix it or make it better or justify it. It is what it is. It is someone’s truth, their story… for at least that moment.
And when you really look and listen and allow their truth to permeate your heart, you begin to feel so much better about you and your truth; your story. …and that’s ok.
That’s living.
What a brave truth. Listening to sadness is hard, being sad is hard. Thank you for sharing this journey. I wish you strength.
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Thank you Victoria for reading my rantings… It feels good to write, it feels better when I know someone’s listening. Thank you
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Always listening Melissa – you have much to say thats worth listening to
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xxxx
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Thank you for sharing – you have articulated something that is so important. The art of listening and accepting someone else’s truth. Not trying to minimise it, not trying to fix it, just sitting with the difficult stuff and being open to everything – good or bad.
You are so right, that’s living 🙂
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Thank you.
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Hi Melissa; I signed up to your blog; hope that’s OK? I can’t imagine what you are going through but wanted to let you know I am rooting for you and your family and especially your daughter. Michaela x
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It is absolutely alright! Thanks for reading and thanks for the the well wishes!
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You hit the nail on the head Melissa – don’t try to fix it, just listen with your heart…now that’s a truth and a half! That’s been a hard one for me to get to grips with over the years. When my Mum first got diagnosed my mind continuously screamed ‘how can i fix this how can i fix this??’..it’s tough when you realise you just can’t – you’re helpless. But what you can do is much bigger – you show up, you listen, you love, you connect…that’s what life’s about. Spot on! Sending you love xx
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I know you know! Xxx
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