To those of you faithful followers still reading my rants on a regular basis, thank you! You are obviously made of tough stuff and take responsibility, commitment and friendship very seriously. Good on you!
Frankly, I, myself, am getting a little sick and tired of my rants and my rather unique ability to blither on and on about the same subject, endlessly!
I miss the old me. I miss that woman who could talk to and was interested in a plethora of topics. The woman who could stand on a “soapbox” and have a good long rant about anything from a disinterested sales clerk (by the way, where has good customer service and basic manners gone?), or world politics (Really Ferguson, really?) to the rights of the dying and yes, why the hell are we here?
I’ve become one dimensional caricature of myself. My repertoire has been reduced to one song… and its not a very catchy one at that! Cancer, chemo, Arielle and poor, poor pitiful me. Boring!
The problem is I can’t stop! I have this overwhelming need to purge (via this stupid blog) all the crazy thoughts, feelings, insecurities and fears that I have. I can only imagine that it’s similar to what a junkie feels when it’s time for that next fix. This overwhelming need to do something that you really don’t want to do, just takes over! You just can’t stop yourself. And when I don’t get it out, and it builds up and feasters inside, it feels like I’ve like eaten some bad seafood! Not good. Not good at all.
I, as I’m sure you, look forward to a time when I either am able to write about something else, or I just shut the fuck up!