The train trip from Brighton to Dover takes about 2 1/2 hours, so there’s a lot of time to just be by yourself, think and be introspective.
I inevitably started thinking about Arielle and the fact that she has cancer and how unfair that is since she is so young and has a whole life of experiences ahead of her. This led to my thinking about how old I am (I believe the saying is “as old as dirt”) and how much I’ve experienced in my life. This led to my negotiating (making a deal if you will) with God.
Yes, you know what’s coming…. “Let Arielle get through this and be cancer free for another 40-50 years and take me now, instead”
This thought process brought about the most remarkable epiphany; I have had a fucking AMAZING life! No, seriously, I have had the most fantastic, phenomenal life a person could have! I mean a regular person, not a Paris Hilton kind of person. Here are some of the highlights!
- I was born in the 1950’s, which means I grew up in the 60’s, which was the totally best time to grow up in, ever!
- My parents loved each other and worked hard to give their kids the best they could.
- Having the absolute greatest older brothers in the universe was like winning the lottery!
- Growing up on the wrong side of the tracks, helped me to learn quickly about life, people, friendship and diversity.
- I almost went to Woodstock, but Mom said “No.”
- When I was 14, a young hippie couple moved in next door. They taught me about acceptance, love, music, politics, pot and loving myself.
- I’ve was an anti war activist at a young age. Marched in rallies and burned my bra during the women’s lib movement.
- My first job was in a radical bookstore and my name is most likely on an FBI list from 1971! (Not because I did anything wrong, but just because I worked there)
- I’ve been married three times and I’ve been loved by some genuinely extraordinary men, as well as a few SOBs
- The man I’m married to now has loved me for a really long time!! God only knows why.
- I’ve experienced natural childbirth… twice!
- I have two beautiful daughters, who have made me very proud and two grandsons who I adore!
- I’ve been rich, poor and everything in between.
- I didn’t die of a drug overdose like some of my best friends did.
- I’ve been fortunate enough to have traveled to Italy, France, Germany, Switzerland, Spain, the UK and lots of places in the US.
- I’ve celebrated New Years Eve in Paris and slept in a Bedouin camp, under the stars in a desert in Jordan
- I have eaten some of the best food ever made and made myself sick drinking too many Martinis!
- I’ve met some of the nicest, kindest, most loving, caring people on earth, who I am proud to say are friends and some became family.
- I’ve had to do things nobody should ever have to do, but glad I did because I am a better stronger person because of it.
All in all, it has been one hell of a journey and if it did end right now, if God accepts this deal, I would have absolutely not one single regret! I have lived my life on my terms, learned from my mistakes and most importantly I have loved and I have been loved.
So if by chance I suddenly turn up dead, as in I’m hit by a meteor, slip through the infamous”gap,” or perhaps fall off one if those cliffs Nick is always taking me to… It’s okay. I’m good with it… It’s all part of a deal, that I got the better part of!