With Arielle’s health crisis on somewhat of a more even keel for now, it’s time for me to get on with the business of living my life. Oh, don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean I won’t be the annoying, overbearing, doting mother I have been, but will perhaps “dial it down” a bit and turn my attentions inward.
Now, more than ever I need to get back to the business of living my life.
You see, the last few months were supposed to be totally different… but isn’t that just like life, to take all of your well thought out plans and just fuck with them?
On May 3 (after 33.5 years) I left my job at American Express; I walked away, with intentions of starting a new life; a life with real purpose and meaning. It was a bittersweet departure, because although there were many people there who I loved and cared about, the work was no longer fulfilling and the stress and political bullshit had taken a toll on my health. I walked away not knowing what I would do, but absolutely sure it was the right time to go and that there was something more important waiting for me. As it turned out, the timing was perfect and there was something much more important for me to do… 8 weeks after I left American Express, Arielle was diagnosed with cancer and my life was turned upside down!
However, during those 8 weeks and through a series of very fortunate events, I met some fascinating, beautiful, amazing people (you know who you are!) and was introduced to some new ideas and concepts about living (and about dying),which had sparked a new life and breath into me! The pieces of my new, purposeful life had all started to fall into place.
So now, it’s time for me to go back to the business of living my life and to continue to gather those bits and pieces. I need to pick up where I left off (before the cancer) and continue on that path, to see where it leads.
This blog has served me well, as it has allowed me to rant and rage about my daughter’s cancer; it has taught me more about myself than I ever would have dreamed possible; and most importantly it has shown me just how much love, kindness and compassion there is out there, within all of those who surround me (You know who you are!) The outpouring of love and concern for me and my family has been overwhelming and for that I thank you… I may never be able to pay you back, but I can certainly “pay it forward,” and that I promise to do!
I’ll continue to post updates about Arielle’s heath, because I know many of you now have a vested interest (Thank You!), but will resurrect an old blog of mine, titled “Organized Chaos,” (that title is as appropriate now as it ever was!) and will post there about the absurdities and discoveries I make about me new life.