Today’s the Day

october 13

It has been 29 days since Arielle’s surgery, however it seems like it’s been light years!  The surgery went well and a large, rather “nasty” looking tumor was removed, along with her right ovary.

The last 29 days has been tough for me.  Pretty much cut off from Arielle, with the exception of the occasional phone call. Oh, I totally get it… she needed to get on with her life in a way that was good for her. She needed autonomy, and time alone. Time to relax, restore and re-evaluate the trauma she had endured.  I totally get it.  It’s cool, I’m a tough.

I did however wonder, pretty much every day, for the last 29 days, what now? What’s next?  What will the pathology report show?  What were those two, teeny, tiny suspicious looking things that the surgeon said he removed? Will there be more chemo? What’s her long term prognosis? Are we done with this nightmare?

The list of questions and fears are endless.  Although we kind of put cancer “on hold” for the last 29 days and re-entered into a world of semi-normality…  Reality slaps us in the face today and cancer remind us that it still (to a certain degree) has control over us.  Well  “Fuck you Cancer… I so hate you!”

It is now 11:00 am. Arielle’s appointment was at 10:30, but Prof is always late… So I’m imagining her and Rich sitting in the large, sterile, white room with Prof, Openshaw’s replacement, Sarah, Sinead, with whomever else. There are the niceties and first few minutes of “So how have you been?” Blah, blah, blah.  And then Prof will go into his “Prof talk.” Hopefully Sarah and Sinead will translate everything he says, Arielle and Rich will ask all the important questions and all will be well.

Me…  I’ll just sit here waiting for the phone to ring.

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