I thought my “ranting” days were over except for the one off, positive, good news post about Arielle’s progress… And I was happy to not be “ranting!” Seriously, I have other interests, other Blogs, other websites to maintenance… and I was happy keeping myself busy elsewhere. I didn’t miss ranting!
However, fate has decided to once again play havoc with my world…. My brother Tommy (the last living relative I have, from my original childhood family) called me today to tell me he has been diagnosed with lung cancer.
I will let that sink in…
Lung. Cancer. Brother.
It has been exactly 125 days since my youngest daughter called to tell me she had ovarian cancer. One hundred and twenty five fucking days! And I spent most of those days in a panic, traveling, worrying, crying, praying, bargaining, and yes ranting. And although things are looking good there, we are by no means out of the woods yet.
As I said, I couldn’t make this shit up.
The good news it it has not metastasized, the bad news is the tumor is pressing on his aorta (that can’t be good!) and if surgery is an option at this point, it may be very risky option.
Needless, to say I am in shock and disbelief. I don’t want to pull the poor, poor, pitiful routine… but seriously! Are you fucking kidding me?
*Breath*
Ok… *exhale*
What lesson could the Universe be trying to teach me? What am I doing that causes those closest to me get cancer?
I am at a loss to understand or make any sense of this.
Maybe if I stop saying “Fuck You” to cancer, do you think it might leave my loved ones alone?
rantings of a madwoman 
No words, just sending you support and positive thoughts, Lois
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Melissa, you are not doing anything that is causing this cancer, so please stop blaming yourself – that will harm your health. Tommy and Arielle are blessed to have you in their lives so FUCK OFF cancer xxx
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Okay – you have to stop saying its your fault and you know that. That’s ridiculous!!! We don’t know why. There are no answers for that. You have to pick yourself up and be the Melissa who can support Tommy through this time. Instead of why Tommy, we should all be saying, “Thank goodness Tommy has Melissa to help see him through this!” That’s reality. All of us who read this are so, so sorry. You have had a big burden to carry and here’s another huge one right on top of it. But who better equipped for this?
The prayer chain is starting up again. We are going to stand in the gap for you! You have many friends and many prayer warriors are there for you. I have no other words for you. My jaw dropped as I read this blog. But I truly know that YOU can handle this, you can. You know how strong you are. You have no other choice right now. Be Melissa!
I love you and can’t stand you to sound defeated. Nothing defeats you, nothing.
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Oh Caryn, I wish I had that much faith in me. The problem is, I’m jut not sure I can handle it.
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Melissa – are you fucking kidding me!!! I just saw Tommy a month ago at Herbies. I am here in worcester, work at Umass – have many contacts!!!!! I am here my friend!!! Say the word and I am all over this!!!!!!!!!!
Love ha
Cheryl
Sorry been off the grid and just seeing this!!
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OMG! Please don’t say or do anything! He will kill me if he finds out I wrote about it! He just found out and hasn’t told anyone. It is not my news to tell and I thought I excluded everyone in Worcester! Please don’t say anything to anyone.
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No worries- I am here if you need me!
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Thank you. xxx
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