Toad Face

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Written by mamici1

toad 3

I love my Dermatologist!

He so gets me.

When I walked into his office yesterday, for my 4:00 appointment and shared my long, sad, tale of “GCA/PMR” woe; he listened, patiently and compassionately.  Most  importantly, he empathised.  Even though he was most likely confused, as to why I was there, in a “dermatologist office,” he empathised.

When I finally got around to the part about my fear of turning into “TOAD FACE ,” I could see him suppressing a slight giggle.  That was okay, I’d give him that one.

However, could he REALLY not see the thousands of lumps, bumps, moles, warts and hard, white growths that were “literally” {Okay, replace that word with figuratively} covering my big, fat, double chinned, moon face?

Seriously?

As I began to painstakingly point out each and every one of the hideous “toad” like excrescences that were shrouding my face, he became serious and made all the appropriate gestures and sounds associated with concern and understanding.

He “got” it.

He got that it was more than just “old age vanity,” that brought me to his office.  Although, I freely admit… that was a a big part of it!  It was, however, more than that.  It was my feeble attempt to take some modicum of “control,” over my life… my body, my FACE!

I am so damn sick and tired of my “body” making all of the decisions!

It’s like I have no say in anything anymore.  I succumb to whatever my “body” throws at me.  Bruises. Blood marks. Aches. Pains. Headaches. Fatigue. Double chins. Chipmunk cheeks. Mood swings. Weight gain, etc. etc. etc.

Well I draw the line at TOAD FACE!!!

Maybe nobody else could really see them, but I could see them!  Every time I brushed my teeth, put on moisturiser, washed my face, or just glanced in the mirror…  I was reminded of yet another thing, over which I had NO CONTROL!

Well I call BULLSHIT. 

With the help of the Hove Skin Clinic and the wonderful, amazing, empathetic Dr Bav Shergill, I took control and I said “NO!”

NO to TOAD FACE.

NO to not having control.

No to growing old gracefully.

NO to the lumps, bumps, moles, warts and hard, white growths all over my face.

It felt at peace and a sense of joy when I heard the words,  “Yes, we can remove them all today, if you’d like.”  

If I’d like?  I’d LOVE!

A quick move into the procedure room and within 15 minutes, 11 hideous, repulsive, unsightly “spots,” had been removed from my eyelids, face, neck and arm!

Ahhhhh ha!  Who was in control now, huh?  I was!  And I had decided that becoming “Toad Face,” was not an option.  I was taking back (at least this small bit) of myself, my face, my pride, my confidence!

Thank you Dr Bav for “getting it,”  and for getting me!

#smoothasababysbehind  

14 Comments

  1. Me too Melissa! How much did it cost can I ask? Do they charge per skin tag, warty thing, sebaceous cyst etc. Sounds wonderful. I want it done!! Xxxx

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      1. Oh sweetheart this is Linda here, Daisychain on the PMR forum. I have only just found your wonderful writing. I am so sad for you. I am loving your writing and your wonderful bravery. Thank you for coming into my life. xxxxxxxxxxxx

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  2. Hi!!!! I had a multitude of sins… two large skin tags on my eyelids, several sebaceous cysts, a large mole that I had had for awhile, and some other wart like things… some had to have anaesthesia, some didn’t. It was £300 and I almost fainted when she gave me the price.. but then realised it was a small price to pay for my sanity, my dignity.. for getting back CONTROL!!!! xxxx

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  3. I don’t think 300 was so bad for that many.. and the procedure. I’ll be having 1 taken off in the US (unless they thought it was precancerous and covered by outrageously expensive surgery) would have been $1000. ALSO. I know ANY “microderm abrasion” thing for just general let’s not get old costs a fortune, hence my decision to buy the microderm glo on Amazon for $80 and I LOVE it. JUST started using it and I swear I look better! (possibly only because I have thoroughly washed face as per instructions for first time ever. hahah) You might like it! fun little toy. But one must start off gently!!!! (I watched some youtube videos before getting it.)

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    1. Thank you Bonnie for your continued support! I wasn’t expecting it to be £300, but there were 11 different things… He even took a mole that I have had for years on my right cheek! He asked if I was sure that I wanted it removed, as it was kind of “cute.” I responded, “It’s not Marilyn Monroe cute, take it off.” : ) PS I will check out your microderm glo, it sounds fun!!!! xxxx

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  4. Dear ‘USED TO BE TOAD FACE’, yes it can be good to have those, can I say it..Heck yes, FUCKING LUMPS removed! I bet that, you feel, so much better Melissa. Personally, maybe because I’m a Bloke, maybe because I am alive twenty-one years, after I was Definitely going to die, whatever…I’m not too worried about being a Toad, Frog, Fish or even UGLY face….I’m ALIVE! That’s NOT to say that I don’t completely understand, where you are ‘Coming From’..I DO.

    Enjoy your, no doubt, beautiful face.

    Kindest wishes Andrew

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    1. Ahhhhh, thank you Andrew! For your kind words and for your support of my Blog. Wow! Good on you for making it through a “life altering” experience and allowing it to really teach you the most important lesson of all… our lives and our capacity to love is all that really matters. My Toad Face wasn’t a huge issue, but I needed to exert this tiny bit of CONTROL, just to prove to myself I still had the power! : ) It’s silly, but it worked…. I woke up today feeling like I had accomplished something… I took CONTROL ! Thank you.

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