It was a bit early to be embracing the New Year concept of “out with the old,” but then again, I have never been one for tradition or adhering to accepted social norms. So… Friday, December 28th seemed like as good a day as any, to have a colonoscopy!
“Sure, why not? Happy F**king New Year?”
If you’ve been following my epic tragedy, (You really do need to get a life!) you’ll recall that earlier in the month, I had been plagued with more than one UTI and had allergic reactions to a few of the antibiotics that had been prescribed to me… (Merry F**king Christmas!) And on December 10th, I was seen in A&E suffering from excruciating pain, caused by severe abdominal cramps and intestinal spasms! The official diagnosis was another UTI AND a gastrointestinal virus! Wooo Hooo, I hit the Daily Double!!!! No worries, they said it would surely pass on it’s own, within a short amount of time.
Well, guess what? They were dead fucking wrong!
It did not pass… the antibiotics temporarily masked the horrific symptoms, but within a day or so, the debilitating pain, abdominal cramps and intestinal spasms, were back… and this time with a vengeance.
My life was once again officially out of control, and THIS was NOT how I had pictured my Christmas preamble!
Between December 10th and December 21st I was seen by the GP, 3 times. An EMT visited the house, because I had become so weak (from not eating) and being in such pain, that when my husband called 111 to get advice, they suggested we call 999!
Joe, the EMT (and a lovely young man) was gobsmacked when he asked what I had been taking for the pain and the spasms, and I said, “Nothing.” He immediately got on the phone and called my GP, suggesting I be prescribed Co–codamol for the pain, and Buscopan for the spasms. The GP agreed.
Over the next few days blood was taken, exams of the most embarrassing nature were performed and unspeakable samples were collected and turned into the poor receptionist at the surgery!
The drugs were a Godsend and a game-changer and every night I thank God for “Joe,” my Christmas Angel!
It was believed that because I am on steroids and my immune system is compromised, I was not able to fight off this virus from hell. My white cells were raised which indicated my body was trying to fight off something… but the devil’s hoodoo can’t be defeated!
For 13 nights and 14 days I suffered; and might I mention, I did not suffer in silence! I bitched, I moaned, I cried, I tossed I turned… I was miserable, but lo…. Christmas miracles abounded and yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!
On Christmas Day I awoke (in the Hotel Du Vin, in Henley on Thames, with my OH, my daughter and son in law, and my MAX!!!!) I had a settled tummy, no pains, no spasms and an appetite!
We enjoyed a lovely Christmas breakfast, opened gifts, went for a walk and then enjoyed (my second meal in 14 days) a lovely turkey Christmas dinner!
The two day pre-colonoscopy “cleanse” was NOT near as fun as our Christmas get together, but if that was the trade-off, so be it!
In the end… it was literally out with the old, but this evening I’m looking forward to “IN WITH THE NEW!” In fact, I can’t wait for 2019 to begin… I’d say, “it couldn’t be much worse than 2018,” but we all know it could always be worse, so I’ll just keep my big mouth shut!
Wishing my family and friends all the best in the new year.
“May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may my thoughts, words, and actions contribute in some way to happiness and freedom for all.”