My Mom always said, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” God, I hated that. Why? …because it shut me right up, and I hated (still hate) being silenced.
Lately, I haven’t had anything “nice” to say, and I’ve willingly been, unusually quiet. Mom would be so proud.
My creative writing “muse,” (“She-Who-Shant-Be-Named,”) seems to have gone on an extended holiday and a new friend has moved in; named Misery.
Misery showed up, not long after my total knee replacement surgery and has been monopolising all of my time ever since. Unfortunately, unlike She-Who-Shant-Be-Named,” Misery (who I am sure is a male) does not lift my spirits or inspire me, in any way, shape or form! He doesn’t light a fire under my ass or make me feel passionate about anything… He’s disinterested in most everything, weeps a lot and moans continuously. “Don’t tell him, but he’s really a bit of a downer!”
I’m not quite sure where he came from, or why he chose to visit me?
Maybe I inadvertently brought him home from the hospital? Perhaps I thought he was the lovely bag of Opiates, that I had hoped would be coming home with me. Or a special, hospital prize, that I won for being such an ideal patient! Maybe I mistakenly, beckoned him to me; thinking he was a new and exciting muse, who might get me moving and shaking again after my surgery?
Alas, he was none of these things… “No,” he’s just a parasitic, mope, who serves no real purpose, except to try and bring me down.
He likes to sit on my right shoulder and stroke my hair, while he whispers in my ear.
“Awe… come on, let’s just go take a nap, get away from reality.”
*sigh* “They shoot horses, don’t they?” *sigh*
“Ooooo, poor, poor, pitiful us, huh?”
“It’s okay to feel sad, as long as we’re together”
“Let’s drink wine and have ourselves a good old pity party!”
“Fuck our lives”
He’s not very clever or original, but he is ever there and so very monotonous.
By the way… did you ever think about where that saying comes from;
“Misery loves company?”
It implies that people who are unhappy, get some kind of weird consolation knowing that other people are unhappy too; and that perhaps having fellow sufferers makes the unhappiness, somehow easier to bear. Apparently, words to this effect have appeared in the work of Sophocles (c. 408 b.c.) and in other ancient writings too! So the concept is obviously not new; humans love to drag others down with them.
But that doesn’t explain why Misery seems to LOVE me?
This is not my first meeting with Misery. He (or perhaps a close relative of his) have shown up before; banging persistently on my door, as uninvited guests often do.
He showed up after the deaths of each one of my family members, and he stayed around for quite some time. (He stayed around for 3 years after Charlie died! I know, right? WTF!) Also, he showed up after my two divorces and after my miscarriage.
There were other visits too, but for shorter periods of time; not weeks upon end, like this recent intruder (who’s now been here now for 8 weeks!) Those other, shorter visits were much more tolerable… these long, unending visits are boring, tiring, uninspiring, and frankly a real pain in the ass!
So why does Misery love ME… that is the million dollar question!
It’s not like I cater to him; most of the time I’m very successful at totally ignoring him. I just get on with my life… and do what I gotta do! He does however, always seems to be lurking there in the background; hanging around like a black cloud, in the not so distant sky.
Maybe some people are just Misery Magnets; we don’t mean to, but we just attract Misery. Maybe our life situations are such, that he feels compelled to join us in these “not so great,” times because he thinks he’s helping by keeping us company.
Misery thinks we need his company, because he’s bought into the old adage, “Misery loves company,” ergo, we must love Misery!
What a colossal, clusterfuck of a total misunderstanding this is!
How do you explain to an imaginary muse that he’s really NOT needed… that you don’t want his company? How do you get rid of an unwanted house guest???
If you have any suggestions I’m open to listen, but right now I need a glass a wine, a nap and someone to stroke my head and whisper in my ear.