Misery & Me

My Mom always said, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” God, I hated that. Why? …because it shut me right up, and I hated (still hate) being silenced.

Lately, I haven’t had anything “nice” to say, and I’ve willingly been, unusually quiet. Mom would be so proud.

My creative writing “muse,” (“She-Who-Shant-Be-Named,”) seems to have gone on an extended holiday and a new friend has moved in; named Misery.

Misery showed up, not long after my total knee replacement surgery and has been monopolising all of my time ever since. Unfortunately, unlike She-Who-Shant-Be-Named,” Misery (who I am sure is a male) does not lift my spirits or inspire me, in any way, shape or form! He doesn’t light a fire under my ass or make me feel passionate about anything… He’s disinterested in most everything, weeps a lot and moans continuously. “Don’t tell him, but he’s really a bit of a downer!”

I’m not quite sure where he came from, or why he chose to visit me?

Maybe I inadvertently brought him home from the hospital? Perhaps I thought he was the lovely bag of Opiates, that I had hoped would be coming home with me. Or a special, hospital prize, that I won for being such an ideal patient! Maybe I mistakenly, beckoned him to me; thinking he was a new and exciting muse, who might get me moving and shaking again after my surgery?

Alas, he was none of these things… “No,” he’s just a parasitic, mope, who serves no real purpose, except to try and bring me down.

He likes to sit on my right shoulder and stroke my hair, while he whispers in my ear.

“Awe… come on, let’s just go take a nap, get away from reality.”

*sigh* “They shoot horses, don’t they?” *sigh*

“Ooooo, poor, poor, pitiful us, huh?”

“It’s okay to feel sad, as long as we’re together”

“Let’s drink wine and have ourselves a good old pity party!”

“Fuck our lives”

He’s not very clever or original, but he is ever there and so very monotonous.

By the way… did you ever think about where that saying comes from;

“Misery loves company?”

It implies that people who are unhappy, get some kind of weird consolation knowing that other people are unhappy too; and that perhaps having fellow sufferers makes the unhappiness, somehow easier to bear. Apparently, words to this effect have appeared in the work of Sophocles (c. 408 b.c.) and in other ancient writings too! So the concept is obviously not new; humans love to drag others down with them.

But that doesn’t explain why Misery seems to LOVE me?

This is not my first meeting with Misery. He (or perhaps a close relative of his) have shown up before; banging persistently on my door, as uninvited guests often do.

He showed up after the deaths of each one of my family members, and he stayed around for quite some time. (He stayed around for 3 years after Charlie died! I know, right? WTF!) Also, he showed up after my two divorces and after my miscarriage.

There were other visits too, but for shorter periods of time; not weeks upon end, like this recent intruder (who’s now been here now for 8 weeks!) Those other, shorter visits were much more tolerable… these long, unending visits are boring, tiring, uninspiring, and frankly a real pain in the ass!

So why does Misery love ME… that is the million dollar question!

It’s not like I cater to him; most of the time I’m very successful at totally ignoring him. I just get on with my life… and do what I gotta do! He does however, always seems to be lurking there in the background; hanging around like a black cloud, in the not so distant sky.

Maybe some people are just Misery Magnets; we don’t mean to, but we just attract Misery. Maybe our life situations are such, that he feels compelled to join us in these “not so great,” times because he thinks he’s helping by keeping us company.

Misery thinks we need his company, because he’s bought into the old adage, “Misery loves company,” ergo, we must love Misery!

What a colossal, clusterfuck of a total misunderstanding this is!

How do you explain to an imaginary muse that he’s really NOT needed… that you don’t want his company? How do you get rid of an unwanted house guest???

If you have any suggestions I’m open to listen, but right now I need a glass a wine, a nap and someone to stroke my head and whisper in my ear.


  1. Aw so sorry to hear that he’s gotta hold on you . I believe that the anaesthetic and drugs you have had to take recently can wreak havoc on your body and you are human after all and have gone through a lot in short time . I can hear you saying “ no shit Sherlock ! “ with maybe an F in there somewhere ! Hoping he gets bored with you and leaves soon !! Much love xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You might be right… Between the drugs, isolation, pain and long healing process… I unwittingly, allowed this unwanted visitor in. As Cheryl said it is time to kick his ass out!!!!! xxx


  2. Perhaps “Misery” moves in, when we are losing the battle. Misery seems to operate like Kaa from “Jungle Book.”
    “Kaa is a sly, devious Indian python that speaks with a soft, often entrancing tone to either lure his victims into a weary, dreamlike state or manipulate them into bestowing their trust, thus allowing him to devour them unexpectedly. He furthers this by the use of his iconic ability to hypnotize his prey with his eyes, rendering them enchanted and under his command.”
    Perhaps, the way to win the battle— because that’s what it is, a battle— is to work towards the small victories and celebrate them, when won. Easier said than done, when under Misery’s cloud of enchantment. Eventually the little victories push Misery away, until next time (there’s always a next time).
    You’re strong and a fighter. Sometimes fighters fall to the mat and stay down for a while. You got this.

    Btw, HU is not the same without you. I realize that you were the one who drew me in, with your clever posts. Been wondering where you’ve been— blog-wise.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! I had totally forgotten Kaa!!!!! Thank you for that insightful reminder… and I think you’re right, “…work towards the small victories and celebrate them, when won.” I have come a long way since not only recently (since surgery) but in my LIFE! And Misery’s “cloud of enchantment,” may be mesmerising but it is a lie! I may be on the mat but not for long…. Thank you! I miss HU tremendously, but hear it is not the same… I want to re-join but know I’ll be disappointed so I stay away. Thank you for your kind words, encouragement and support! It is much appreciated. xxx


  3. Well at least we all know your alive even if you are now living with a new friend you don’t like (by the way I don’t like Mr/Ms. Misery)! If I could shake you I would but being in Worcester a little tough!!! So I will use the words of all Grafton/Bell Hill girls (trying to be proper Girls!!!! Yeah right!!!)

    Get the FUCK UP AND MOVING!!!! Misery loves company and you allowed he/she to move in!!!! Kick the fucker out!!!! You came from Worcester you know how to kick ass!!!! JUST DO IT!!!! Sorry not letting Misery rule you! No one else ever has and I know all about Charlie and Tommy and they are wondering “WHAT THE FUCK LISSA”??????

    All I have to say! Have a great day and give Misery a kick in the ass from this Worcester Bitch! Yup proper went out the window, hopefully with Misery!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Cheryl, you do make me laugh… and cry!!!!! Usually at the same time! Thank you. WTF, indeed and you’re right of course… Bell Hill/Grafton Hill girls were made of nails! We had to be! I’ll get rid of this unwanted house guest… I promise. Love you! and THANK YOU! xxx


      1. You better get rid of that nasty person!!!! I don’t like this person in your life and I may have to hop on a plane to kick His/her ass out the f’ing door! Then give you a good head slap!!!! 😂 Love u my friend!!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. There’s a lot of good old grit in this Melissa so I don’t think he’s going to be around too long. Joseph’s back in July so we shall have to come see you and kick old Misery guts’s ASS!! Xx

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s