Ageing, Gravity and What’s a Kegel?

“Black Iris” by Georgia O’Keeffe

WARNING: If you are a man or queasy about issues concerning women’s bodies and the multitude of things that can (and often do) go wrong with them, perhaps you should stop reading now!

This blog may not be for you.

I am totally mortified and yet somehow compelled to “rant,” about my most recent malady. However, first, let me go on record saying, “It can really suck to be a woman!”

Menstruation, mood swings, childbirth, menopause… WTF?

Women contend with having a “period,” every month, for an average of 41.6 years; that’s approximately 500 periods! And figures show, that those of us who choose to have children, will carry, deliver and then care for about 2.5 of them, in our lifetime. That means we’re pregnant, for roughly two full years! Then there’s Peri-menopausal symptoms, which can last an average of 4 years. And once in menopause (same symptoms, but reduced frequency and intensity) it can last for another 4-5 years!  

Besides all the physical inequities between us and men; the first half of our lives we’re usually treated like a piece of meat, and the second half we become invisible!

Throughout our careers many of us are paid less money for doing the same job, as a man and we undoubtedly get less respect and more grief (especially if we’re strong, capable leaders, i.e. “bitches.”)

Again, WTF?

All of that aside, we persevere and we get the job done… and we do a pretty damn good job of it, if I do say so myself.

So, I’m sorry… why the hell do women of a certain age have to contend with even more bullshit?

We lose our looks, gain weight, get wrinkles and ugly brown spots, our hair gets dull and lacklustre, our teeth become yellow along with the whites of our eyes… our skin folds and sags like wet tissue paper, on a rainy Christmas morning and our boobs and butt cheeks, fall far below the line of the equator; and what’s up with my ear lobes? I feel like a honorary member of the Maasai tribe!

And now the latest fucking calamity… a pelvic organ prolapse.

“You’re fucking kidding!” Yup, those were my exact words, too!

“A pelvic organ prolapse happens when the muscles and tissues supporting the pelvic organs (the uterus, bladder, or rectum) become weak or loose.” The Office on Women’s Health

Well isn’t this just fucking Jim Dandy, huh?

Well “no,” actually I’m finding it embarrassing, humiliating, upsetting, distressing, awkward and beyond my comprehension! …it is however, after an official diagnosis, what’s happening to me!

It’s reported that more than 50% of all women will experience at least some, if not all, all of the symptoms of this mortifying, well kept secret. Many women “suffer in silence,” because talking about this type of female issue (even to their own GP) is unthinkable.

We seem to have no freakin problem talking about (and seeking help for) our sagging boobs, cellulite ridden thighs, laugh lines, drooping eyelids and thinning lips and “off-fleek” eyebrows… but when your uterus falls out on the floor, it’s all “Shhhhhh,” “Hush,” ” Keep moving, nothing to see here….”

I too considered hiding under the bed and beckoning the earth to open up and swallow me whole! …but then thought, what kind of example would I be setting?

I’ve prided myself on writing about the “tough” stuff. Illnesses, death, embarrassing moments, raw emotions and more… How could I look at myself in the mirror, if I simply skulked away and pretended that this wasn’t happening?

Well, I couldn’t, could I?

So… here it is for all to see (no pun intended!) I now have a new and difficult woe to deal with.

My lovely GP has referred me to a Gynaecologist Consultant and in a mere 11-14 weeks (Yes, that’s how long a referral takes in Brighton!) I’ll be sitting in an office somewhere, quite “red faced” I’m sure, explaining to a man (most likely) that my innards have recently had the propensity to try and escape my body!

“Hmmmmm,” I hear him saying… “Tell me more.”


In all seriousness, if you’re “suffering in silence,” with this condition, please stop! Say something to someone! Get help. Get advice. Talk about it! It’s not the end of the world! It’s just your body!


    1. Hi Bonnie! Hopefully not in your future! …but if it is, hey, ho! PMR/GCA okay after a bitchin FLARE! Went from 9.5 to 15… but back down 9.5/10 on alternating days. How are you?


      1. I am doing well!! down to 3.5. Hoping to see 2020 free of prednisone! But I STARTED at 15. not GCA!!!
        60 or whatever horrible amount you had to take!!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. WOW! Totally cool! Good for you!!!! I was at 80mg, 18 months ago, so 9/10, to me, is AMAZING!!!! Good on ya… keep up the good work. Tell my HU friends I say “Hello!” xxxxxx


  1. I have been filled with quiet horror because I suspect all is not well in my pelvic area. 3 babies, one traumatic birth and possibly Pred. related muscle weakness. So thank you for your frank and lively post. It has spurred me on to have it investigated. You are often such a blessing. X Jane.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Jane, I do appreciate your continued support! And yes, do please, have it checked out! It’s just another cross as women we have to bear! I hope you and the family are well, and life if treating you kindly. M, xxx


  2. All this is very true, but as a medical transcriptionist who has done countless medical reports across a wide variety of medical problems, I would not trade any “female problems” for a prostate. Trust me on this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hmmmm, I will have to trust you GratefulGran, as I know NOTHING about the prostrate. I still believe women have it worst than men in general… at leat on the normal bodily functions front! Thanks for reading!


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