Nope. I’m not fucking havin it!
I am not going to be one of the poor, nameless souls, who go down in the history books, as “…one of thousands, who succumbed to the SARS-CoV-2 virus, in 2020.”
That is not the way my story will end.
Yes, I am old.
Yes, my immune system is very much compromised.
Yes, we do have 10 cases of the virus, right here in Brighton & Hove…
And okay… YES, perhaps going to the Magic Mike Live, male strip show in London, on March 7th… was not the greatest idea I have ever had! …but in all fairness to me, Boris and Donald (better known as Tweedledum and Tweedledee) hadn’t raised the red flag yet! They hadn’t been honest with me! I didn’t have all the facts. The alarm bells had not started ringing. In fact, even as of today, the President of the United States is saying “Relax, we’re doing great.” (WTF?)
…but I digress.
Nope, I have it all planned.
My ultimate demise is to take place in Nepal.
Somewhere on the outskirts of Kathmandu.
I will be descending a mountain (okay a steep hill) after having a life changing few minutes with a great and wise, Buddhist Monk. He will have just revealed to me the true purpose of my life. I will be so elated by his disclosure, I won’t be paying attention. I will, unfortunately, lose my footing and plummet down the steep, rocky, icy path… The team I’m with, won’t be able to do anything, but watch, in horror, as my lifeless body rolls down the mountain; crashing against the icy rocks.
And then… there it is, the cliff.
And that’s me gone.
My body will never be recovered… Nick will get a refunded on the unused portion of my airline ticket and I won’t have to worry about how I’ll look at the funeral (well I won’t be worrying anyway, I guess… I’ll be gone!)
It will be quick and almost painless. (Remember, I will be “high” after just being told my life’s purpose…)
Nick will come back to the UK, he will write/finish my Obit (it will be pretty much be completed, except for the details of that last part) and that’s me done and dusted.
That’s the plan and I’m sticking to it!
I am not taking my final bow because I became fatally, infected with some stupid virus, that originated half way around the world, in a Chinese wet market, just because I had a lap dance!
I think, I, and all the other ladies, at the Magic Mike Live in London show on March 7th, should be exempt from the virus; if for no other reason than our own stupidity! That’s got to count for something!
Come on SARS-CoV-2, cut us old ladies some slack!