July 4, 2019

After yesterday’s blog was posted, a friend of Arielle’s and mine, made a comment about how there would be many more milestones ahead for us to be happy about.  It was really more of a wish or positive affirmation rather than fact or prediction, but it got me thinking.

He was right!

Every cycle of chemo she completes, will be a huge milestone.  The completion and recovery from the surgery, will be cause for much reflection and celebration. I’m sure my family’s nostalgia and introspections at Christmas and our New Year’s Eve toast’s and resolutions, will be filled with gratitude and a sense of relief; a promise to live our lives differently; to not take each other for granted; to stop and “smell the roses;” to be better at loving each other; to be better at loving…

We have a long road ahead of us, but in year one, every monthly doctor’s visit will be a new milestone.  Year two, when she see the doctor, every other month, we’ll breath a sigh of relief. At year three, every third month we’ll clink our glasses and celebrate.  And so it will go.

These will all be amazing, wonderful moments in time and I can’t wait to experience each and every one of them!! I’ll be the first to jump on the couch and from the top of my lungs thank God and the universe for all we’ve gotten though and all of the wonderful, positive changes we’ve seen in ourselves, because of this horrible experience! I’ll be filled with gratitude and thankfulness to the point of absolute overflow!

But… and please, let me stop here and apologize for being such a killjoy.

But, in the deepest, darkest recesses of my mind, I will not rest; I will not know a Mother’s peace; I will not exhale, I will not let my defenses down, until we reach that “Holy Grail” of all Milestones: the five years cancer free mark!

Yes, it falls on Independence Day, 2019.